Be Your True Self

What’s up with dating now a days? Quite a confusing game isn’t it? I mean what’s up with acting like you’re perfect just to impress another human being? Why can’t we just be our true selves (weirdness, quirks, flaws & all) and just meet that person who will love us based on that not who we are pretending to be. That’s just me but I think it would avoid a lot of heart ache if people stopped putting up a mask and were transparent about who they are. I tell you from experience! For many years, I put up a mask and only revealed what I thought people expected from me and was it worth it? NO! I became super bitter towards people, and worst of all to myself. But once I removed that mask, I found people in my life who embraced my full self. Now I’m not currently in a relationship, but I am hopeful that the same sentiment applies. Who cares if you’re weird or loud or funny or a bit more quirky than others, be you because that in itself is beautiful. Someone will see your true beauty and if they don’t, they’re aren’t for you, trust me!

I wanted to write this because I come across so many people who have this mask up and then are afraid to lose people when they decide to show their true selves to the world. But why?! Take off all that pressure off of yourself and be you from the first moment you encounter someone. So what if you have a dark past? Who doesn’t have a past! Be you!!!! Be your own kind of beautiful because you are one of a kind. There’s no one else in this entire world or universe like you so why not reveal the gift of yourself to the world.

Hope this is encouraging to someone out there!!

Know your Worth, Be YOU because YOU are Beautiful & YOU are One Of a Kind!

Transformations!

It’s crazy how you can be awake on a random Summer Thursday morning at 3am and be in tears from how overwhelmed you feel. That’s me right now! Well let me explain why I feel so overwhelmed. My life has been hard especially in the last 6 years after becoming a Christian. It’s been the craziest roller coaster ride of my life and yet so magically beautiful all at the same time. I’ve lost so much, but I’ve also gained amazing things and people along the way. I’ve loved hard and I’ve been hurt in more ways than one. I’ve been judged and misunderstood for many reasons, some of which I can admit are my fault. But I’ve also been accepted and loved in a way I never imagined was possible. So as I sit here thinking about my life for the past 6 years, yes, I am indeed overwhelmed. I’m overwhelmed because despite all the pain I’ve faced, I see so much beauty in the world not despair like I did for so many years. After being disowned by my parents due to my faith, I developed so much anger and resentment towards my parents that I couldn’t imagine loving them & extending grace to them the way Christ would want me to. And yet, here I am feeling free because I have finally forgiven them and let go of all that anger and resentment and given it to God. After being depressed for over 15 years and seeing pure darkness in myself, I finally see the light in every situation. And after hating myself for so long, feeling lost & hopeless, ugly & trying to find myself, I finally found myself in the one who I truly belong to: Jesus! Now I know where my identity lies and I can finally see myself through God’s eyes not anyone else’s’ or even my own.

6 years later, everything is truly different and for so long I lost sight of the amazing things God has done in my life and is continuing to do. No more! God is at work in me in such amazingly beautiful ways and I don’t want to live my life missing that or taking for granted the adventure I’m on with the person who holds my heart. I always thought it was so cliché to “fall in love” with God like if it were a romantic relationship with another human being, but it’s not. In fact, it’s not only possible, it’s so much better than anything you have ever experienced or can imagine experiencing. Feeling God’s overwhelming love and loving him back is something words can’t even fully describe because they will always fall short to how amazing it truly is.

I get it now Jesus! You love me, I mean you really truly fully unconditionally love me even in the times when I feel unlovable and unworthy. You pursue me and chase me even when I go my own way. And when I come to my senses, all I have to do is turn around and see you there with open arms reaching out to me. You build me up when I feel broken, you hold me when all I want to do is cry and be held, you listen to me no matter what I have to say and you show me you care unlike anyone I’ve ever met. And most importantly, you love me for me flaws and all so thank you!! Thank you for all the great things you have done for me, inside of my soul, and through me, the amazing people you’ve brought into my life, and those you’ve taken away. Thank you for the pains & storms I’ve overcome and for those you’ll help me get through in the future. And thank you for never leaving me alone and for loving me just because I’m simply me. I love you more than anyone and anything!! I am in awe of you and overwhelmed by your love and your holy presence.

Mold me to your liking Lord, I am Yours!

…and You are Mine. (& what a beautiful reality that is!)