My Silent Lambs Story

I wrote this when i was 17 , but its something personal & delicate that i did experience so please be mature about it!

My Silent Lambs Story


I am currently 17 years old and an Ex. Jehovah’s Witness. I recently disassociated myself from the organization a few months ago. I was born in this religion and practiced it my whole life, until I was 16 years old. All my life, you can say that my family had always been on top. My father was an elder of the congregation and my mother, a very loyal pioneer. Since I was very little, all the Jehovah’s Witnesses would refer to me as the future pioneer. As an elder’s daughter, I was pressured a lot about getting baptized and serving “God’s Organization” faithfully. I loved Jehovah God and I longed for the day when I could dedicate my life to the Almighty God. We lived in ....Hartford.., ..CT.... and I had many spiritual goals for my life. Unfortunately, when I was 9 years old, I was molested by a 15-year-old Jehovah’s Witness boy. My days during that year and the experiences I had were terrible and horrific for me. I was very young and didn’t really understand what happened to me. After a few months of this going on, the situation started to become very aggressive and scary for me. I had enough with this abuse so I told the boy after a Kingdom Hall meeting that this had to stop. I was done with all this and decided to tell my parents about what was going on. To my shock, my parents were a bit disappointed in me. Me??? Why?? They made me feel like it was my fault or that I looked for this to happen to me. I was so confused!! I didn’t know what to do. My parents were on my side, but they still made me feel guilty. My parents brought me to the hospital to check if was hurt in any way. My family and I discussed the situation with the doctors and some social workers as well, but nothing was barely done. When they asked my parents if they wanted to press charges, my parents immediately said “no.” I did not understand!!! How could my own parents bring this pain upon me and let me suffer with the terrible experience I had just lived? I tried really hard to comprehend the actions my parents were taking. After going to the hospital, the boy’s parents were notified and the congregation elders were called too. It was Wednesday night and we had just had our theocratic meeting. It was time to have a meeting with the elders, my family, and his family. I was so nervous, but I was determined to tell the truth no matter what. As I proceeded to tell my side of the story, he and his parents were attacking me, basically calling me a liar. When it was his turn to speak his side of the story, he said that I was lying and that I was making all that stuff up. He actually said that I was the one who had forced him to do all those things to me. I could not believe that. How ridiculous did he sound saying those lies? His parents, of course, continued to attack me going on their son’s side. The other thing that I couldn’t believe was that the elders were actually believing his story/lies. I felt so desperate, lonely, and sad. After everyone spoke their sides of the story, the elders asked if anyone had a final comment before they proceeded to make a decision. I immediately spoke and said that I had told the truth the entire time. Why would I ever want to make this up? Then they asked the boy and he confessed that he had lied about his side of the story. His parents looked at him in shock, while my parents broke down in tears. Afterwards, the elders told us to step out of the room and we did. The situation was never spoken of again. Nothing was done!! Once I stepped foot out of that congregational meeting room, everyone went on with their lives; except for me. I was left there misunderstood, confused, hurt, and depressed. No one helped me get over this. After this situation, I was basically forced to grow up and mature all by myself. Whenever I tried to approach my parents on the past occurrences, my parents would shut me down telling me not to talk about it, put in the past, and forget about it. I learned to keep my mouth shut and deal with all my psychological problems alone. Over the past years, I have continued to deal with what happened to me at 9 years of age. It wasn’t until I was 16, when I found out that the Watchtower Society actually had a policy that said ‘if someone is raped or molested, nothing can be done unless there are 2 or more eye-witnesses present when the situation happened’. That made me doubt the organization a lot and I suffered continuously with my depression without even being diagnosed with depression. I am now 17 years old and I suffer from Depression and PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). I now must deal with these psychological problems because nothing was done in the past to help me overcome and understand what I had experienced. Life gets very hard for me while also dealing with these problems. I love the Jehovah’s Witnesses, I really do, but the fact that they allow situations like mine to happen is really a disgrace in God’s eyes. God would never want his children to suffer the way the organization let me suffer. Now, I am no longer a Jehovah’s Witness as I previously mentioned. I am now a Christian and I feel much happier now that I’m no longer in darkness. I have accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior and am now Born-Again or Saved. It really is a privilege to live my life the right way, instead of serving an Organization in doubt of whether or not I have my salvation. I’m doing better psychologically too. Since my parents refused to help me out seeking psychological help for me, I was forced to seek the help myself, with the help of my close friends. Now I go to therapy and am doing better dealing with my problems in life, from the past and the present. I look forward to life now, and am truly grateful to have the Lord and true Christian brothers and sisters by my side!!!!! I hope that my story was beneficial for others who have also been abused in any way.....

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May the Lord Jesus Christ bless you all and thank you for the opportunity of sharing my story!!....